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Living in a Box

Posted: March 12, 2019

By Gus Velasquez, Former Overcoming Obstacles Student

I grew up in South Central L.A., but whenever people ask me about what my life was like growing up, I tell them that I lived in a box. I don’t mean that literally. I didn’t live in a physical box on the street. I just didn’t think any other way of life existed outside of South Central.

When I was little, I’d wake up in the mornings like every other kid and get dressed, eat breakfast, and then go to my elementary school to try and learn as much as possible. During recess and lunch, we would play basketball, handball, and kickball without a care in the world. It was fun, but as my friends and I got older we became more focused on talking about gangs and whose older brother was gangbanging. In sixth grade, we started our own little gang: L.A.C., or the “L.A. Crip” gang. Even though we were just kids, starting a “gang” wasn’t a big deal–it was normal. We were just pretending to be like our brothers.

When I started junior high, things changed. For one, it was segregated: if you were a Latino you belonged to the Latino gang and if you were black you were either with the Crips or Bloods because that’s how things were. I still spoke to some of my black friends but, unless you were on the school basketball team or something, blacks and Latino kids no longer played together like in elementary school. I wasn’t interested in playing sports for my school. I was more interested in girls, hanging out with friends, and being popular.

Soon, I became a part of a gang. A real gang this time, not like the L.A.C. in sixth grade where we ran around in the hallways and pretended to be tough. This time I had to be tough for real. I couldn’t allow anyone to disrespect me, my neighborhood, or my “homeboys.” This caused me to get into fights. I remember walking home from school one day and getting jumped by six rival gang members, each taking turns kicking, punching, and also stabbing me in the back of the head with a pen. As I walked home I ran into my older brother who wanted to go back and fight all of them, but I talked him out of it. We made a quick stop at my old elementary school to wash up and then walked home.

My mom, terrified by what had happened, sent me away to live in northern California with my aunt, uncle, and their kids. This was an experience I was not prepared for. Everything was slower paced and the day to day drama I was used to was almost nonexistent. Eight months later, I returned to L.A. and graduated junior high.

The time away didn’t really change much for me. In high school, I continued to get in trouble for fighting, not completing assignments, or just not showing up. One semester I had something like 72 absences. I got in trouble so often that I knew all the school security and police officers by name. I knew them better than any of my teachers. Before being allowed in the school, a security guard would search your backpack and pockets and then make you pass through a metal detector, but students were able to find ways around this. People got into fights, shot, and arrested regularly. But none of this was strange to me. This was just what I thought life was like. This was my box.

That was until the day I was introduced to an afterschool program where I learned life skills. Anyone who signed up was allowed to leave class early, so I did. I was taught how to fill out a job application and how to interview for a job. I learned the importance of being polite, shaking the interviewer’s hand, not taking a seat without asking or being asked to do so, sitting up straight, and so on. “Be confident” I was told. This was all new to me, but I realized I was being prepared to exit a world and enter a new one that I had no idea about.

The life skills program introduced me to the “YES to Jobs” program, which would connect students with summer jobs. I was able to get an interview with Home Box Office in Century City, which was only 12 miles away but may as well have been a different world. My mom drove me there and dropped me off, but I had no clue where to go or who to ask for. The building was 42 stories high and everyone was in a suit and tie. Meanwhile, I had borrowed some pants from my older brother who happened to be a few pounds lighter than me and they were a little tight. Way tighter than what I was used to wearing. This made it difficult for me to be confident in myself. I was feeling uncomfortable and lost, out of place.

As I walked in for my interview I just started to focus on everything I was taught in the life skills program: look at them in the eye, smile, shake their hand, wait to be asked to be seated, and sit up straight. Answer all questions with confidence. Once the interview was over, I walked out wondering how well it went. So did everyone in the program, as the next day everyone was eager to find out how the interview went and if I had gotten the job. I let everyone know I was told that they would get back to me. One of the counselors then told me to be more persistent. To follow up and call in a few days and let them know that I was still interested in the position. I did and then, a week after placing the call, I was told that I would be getting the position. This gave me more confidence in myself opening up a whole new world of possibilities that I never thought of before.

My life experiences, whether good or bad, have all played a big role in who I am today and how I raise my three boys. I have always tried to instill good manners and a strong work ethic in them. Those and many other skills I owe to the Overcoming Obstacles life skills program that was brought to South Central L.A. 20 years ago. The program contained the key to not only many doors and opportunities, but most importantly, to the box that I once lived in.