Choose a best friend duo from a TV show, movie, or book with which the students are familiar. Then, create an attribute web on chart paper for each character, using examples from the TV show, movie, or book. (See the “Attribute Web” activity sheet for the structure of the web.) List all of the attributes that best describe these best friends.

Next, tell students that you are going to read short scenarios in which friends are the main characters. The job of the class is to identify whether the friends are being good/giving friends and are filling one another’s lives with happiness, or are being bad/taking friends and are tearing each other down. After each scenario is read, pause to ask students whether they think the children are acting as good, giving friends, or bad, taking friends. If they think the students are not being good friends, ask how they can change their behavior or words in order to be good, giving friends. You can use the following scenarios or choose to use scenarios that are more relevant to your class.

Scenario 1:
Two students are eating together at lunch and are chatting. A new student is walking around the cafeteria and doesn’t know where to sit because she doesn’t know anyone yet. The two friends invite the new student to sit with them.

Scenario 2:
Two friends are sitting next to each other while taking a test. One of the friends whispers to the other, asking his friend for the answer to a question. The friend with the answers to the test is not sure how to respond because he doesn’t want to hurt his friend’s feelings or ruin their friendship, but he knows it is wrong to cheat.

Scenario 3:
A boy is playing baseball with his friends. He is at bat, and the pitcher strikes him out. One of his friends who is playing on the opposite team starts teasing him, saying he stinks at baseball.

Scenario 4:
A girl is practicing gymnastics with a friend of hers. She is having a lot of trouble mastering a back handspring. Her friend helps her by walking through the move, step by step, and spotting her as she tries it again and again.

Scenario 5:
A group of friends are playing tag at recess. One boy has been “it” for a long time and is having trouble tagging another child. His friend approaches and allows him to tag her so that he can have a break from being “it.”

Scenario 6:
A girl is excited to wear her new dress to school. When she arrives, she realizes another girl in her class is wearing the same dress. She is a little disappointed to not be the only person wearing the dress, but she compliments the other girl on her style and says that they can be twins for the day.

Scenario 7:
Two boys are playing a math game where they need to race to see who can answer multiplication facts first. One boy is clearly doing a better job and is winning the game. He begins to tease his friend by saying that he isn’t as smart and he needs to go home and practice before he can play the game again with him.

Tell students that, often, being a good friend may not come as naturally as they would think. Tell them that being intentional with one’s words and actions is very important. Explain that intentional means that a person thinks about what they day or do beforehand, and then acts in a way that is mindful of others and is thoughtful of how one’s behavior may affect others.

Next, tell the students that they are going to brainstorm ways their good friends are good, giving friends. Tell them about a good friend of yours and make a list of ways your friend “gives happiness” to others. (For example, “My friend is a generous person. When we had only three cookies to share, he gave me two and just took one for himself.”) Then, guide each student to think of a good friend of his/her own. Have students write the name of the friend and make a list of ways their good friend “gives happiness” to other people. They should be sure to cite an example. As a group, the class will share their results.

Have students create attribute webs about their best friends by filling in the premade web on the “Attribute Web” activity sheet. Direct students to not only state their best friend’s attributes but also give an example of how their best friend shows that attribute. Then, have students who would like to share describe their webs to the class. While students share their webs, listen for and jot down common attributes. Conclude the lesson with a discussion about the common qualities found with all of the students’ best friends. Ask students, “What qualities did you find common among all of your best friends?” You may want to chart these similar qualities found among all friends. Vote on the top five attributes that the students find to be the most important.

Ask the class, “Can you be friends with someone who doesn’t like all the same things as you?” After the students share some responses, say, “Friends may change and may even grow apart, but the most important thing is that you always remain a good friend and show those character traits that we all look for in our friends.” Lastly, discuss with the class how it is always good to make new friends, even if a person already has friends.

To close the lesson, tell students, “Sometimes making new friends is difficult, but the rewards are worth it. It is important that we recognize the qualities we find important in our best friends and emulate those same qualities. To have a friend, you must learn how to be a friend. Even if someone isn’t our best friend, we still need to treat people kindly. We always need to be kind to people and mindful of people’s feelings. When we are kind and include others, we learn more about different people. We may even find that we have a lot of things in common with those people and could end up being friends with them. Making new friends is always a good thing.”